Breaking the Silence

      After finding a new doctor there has been an exciting amount of movement going on in my belly. Baby has been moving non-stop for weeks and it's making me feel like there is hope. I have had a few more ultrasounds done, but was told that I need a better ultrasound ie, a 3D/4D because the ultrasounds aren't making it easy to tell if the skull is formed or not. In some shots it looks viable, in others it looks as though the brain is missing a lobe. I have had a 3D/4D ultrasound scheduled for September 11, I will then be 24 weeks pregnant with this baby, and I still don't know what the sex of the baby is.
       During the ultrasound my friend Autumn and I were watching the little palm sized screen, he was pointing out the things that we were looking at. Whether it was the baby's long legs and adorable feet or the head he pointed out everything so that we could get a thorough understanding of what we were looking at. As he went to look at the baby's gender we then watched her legs cross so that we couldn't see. It was just amazing.
       We have a long road ahead of us, and it's going to be riddled with tests and exams and possibly unanswered questions. But we're holding together and we're walking through this because it's what is right. I love this child and no matter the outcome she/he will always be my son or daughter.

Finding out...

I really want to know what we're going to be having regardless of the outcome of our second opinion, everyone at work keeps asking if we will find out or not, but not many people know of all the stuff that's going on. And how do you tell people that you only really associate with during work hours something so heartwrenching? I guess my biggest question here is, is it wrong to want to know what we're having at this point? Or is it ok to know? Am I being selfish?